Disclaimer: If you are new to ACA and/or dealing with intense anxiety or depression, you are already experiencing too many jumbled feelings. Please be gentle with yourself and skip this section for now. Focus on building your support network, seeing a therapist, feeling safe, and perhaps getting medical help. Many adult children suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Some of us take medication to help manage those symptoms. If you are in crisis, please make use of one of many crisis hotlines listed here, and/or get to a meeting as soon as you can. Lots of people out there care about you.
Here is a meditation/reflection about feeling feelings. The readings on Step 5 in the text book (p. 190) are also excellent. Take what you like, and leave the rest.
One of the most important jobs we do as recovering Adult Children is releasing our stored grief. Meetings help, as does therapy and talking to supportive friends and sponsors.
For me, another tool to release grief is to feel it.
Whenever I find myself scurrying around, bored, restless, or wanting to eat (or smoke, or spend, or do anything that's compulsive or bad for me), I know it's time to sit and feel. Drowning out my feelings with addictive behavior no longer feels right. I am in recovery now.
The first step to feeling feelings is to relax. I find a quiet place alone, or with a trusted friend. (I've even done this on the phone.) Then I close my eyes and scan my body. Is my throat tight? Is my face tingling? Do I feel nauseous? I pay attention to whatever my body is saying. Sometimes I have tears. Sometimes I get a memory. Always, I get clarity about something I need to do to further my recovery.
